Dear Puranjana Prabhu, Hare Krishna.
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Thank you for your article. I was initiated by Ramesvara in 1979 in Denver, Co. Before the intiation ceremony he remarked in class that he was not sure he wanted to do the initiation ceremony. He said he felt sick about it. But in the end he did it and I was given the name Gaurasundara das. I did sankirtan for 5 years at the Denver Temple afterward and when it was my turn to go to India; Ramesvara sent a message that no one was allowed to go that year because someone had embezzled massive amounts of money from the book trust.
One day I was feeling ill and Svasa came and asked me to go to the Sunday Feast. I told him I wasn’t feeling well. He said if I didn’t go he would beat me up. I told him to go ahead and try it. He then reconsidered and left. At that point I left the Denver Temple and went to St. Louis Temple. Sura das was Temple president. He used to go up to his office and listen to the devotees all around the Temple looking for dissent by using two way speakers. Then he would come and yell at you if you said anything he didn’t like.
When I caught him doing it in his office I cut the cords for all the speakers and that stopped. He was furious but didn’t know who to blame. I then overheard Sura das telling another initiate of Srila Prabhupada that “This is great, I mean it is just like the Mafia; all these diciples of our godbrothers just do what you tell them. He then broke out in laughter at this.” He was making fun of all the blind followers.
I then moved to Chicago Temple for 3 years when Sura threatened me saying he was going to beat me up. This was in the Pujari room. I told him to try to if he thought he could. He declined to try it.
In Chicago when I heard about Ramesvara dating a 15 year old girl I immediately took his picture off the alter. I was told by Ganapati Swami at that time that I was acting like a little girl. Exact words. I refused to do any puja for Ramesvara and stopped attending Ramesvara’s guru puja. I then moved to Laguna beach temple for 1 year. I purchased a car in Laguna Beach and someone poured sugar in the gas tank the next week. Now because of your article I know what it was about. So I lost 2000.00 that my mother had sent me to buy this car which I was going to use to leave Iskcon.
A friend of mine introduced me to a Mataji in L.A. and we both decided to get married without asking Ramesvara because he told me there wasn’t anyone in L.A. who wanted to get married. I drove to L.A. and picked her up and we got married a month later. At which time the Laguna Beach temple decided that there wasn’t any facility for a married couple. So we left Iskcon.
But I never left Srila Prabhupada. And last year in Vrndavan, India on the appearance of Srila Bhaktisiddanta; Srila Prabhupada came to me in a dream and I asked him if it was alright to worship him only. He laughed and said, “Yes it is alright.” And that is what I have been doing anyway since my first day at the Temple. When I joined Denver Iskcon Svavasa das showed me a picture of Ramesvara and said this is your Guru. I asked him; but what if he isn’t. Svavasa forcefully said it was. I did not have any choice in the matter…If I wanted to live in the Temple then I had to serve this person who I didn’t even know. Now I am advanced enough to realize the violence that was forced on me; the manipulation; the lies. And through it all I became stronger than the liars.
I could tell you what I did to get even with some of the fakers which would make you laugh. But what I did to them will hurt them for a very long time. Because in my last life I was better than all of them. And in this life I am better than most of them. And If they attack me I will fight back on a spiritual level and most ot the fakers haven’t the guts to go against someone who has devoted their entire life to God.
Anyway I thought you would find this interesting,
I wish you well,
Your Servant,
Gaurasundar das
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