The more I read here and at the “Sun,” and at one or two other places, the angrier and sadder I become.
I’m no Swami, Saint or anything but a lucky cretin who by some incredible fortune encountered Srila Prabhupada’s “Bhagavad Gita, As It Is” at my local library in 1971.
The first time I saw even one single transcendental picture of Lord Krishna, I knew the truth. An absolute demon I was at that time. Still I knew. Just from that very first picture. I knew and it changed me forever. How could it not?
And then, in what seemed to be the blink of an eye there were all these Swamis, His Graces, etc. floating around like God Himself.
Some I know are sincere and real and all blessings to them, but then there were also the Oshos types, the Maharishi types, etc. And in ISKCON! If a less than neophyte, low down dog like me could see with my lying eyes the hypocrisy and even the actual recorded offenses committed, then why not everyone? Is this what is meant by blind faith?
How is it these, as you say, so-called Swamis, are doing all these obviously corrupt and unauthorized things? From simple cheating to murder most foul. It astounds me that even as Paramatma witnesses, they press on.
Do they really believe in Paramatma and Krishna?
I wonder..
Also, it seems inappropriate to even acknowledge them as Swamis, HG, etc.
Am I wrong?
Am I evil?
What they have done by causing people like me and who knows how many others to avoid ISKCON and most any and every organized group with gurus and all is very disturbing.
I believed Srila Prabhupada’s Gita completely at first glance and then infinitely more as I read and read and read the truth, as it is.
They will never take Srila Prabhupada from me. Never!
Even as incomplete and dirty as I am, I still have far more than I ever thought possible. I guess I’ll be one of those in Hell thinking of Krishna. How will I not?
When ever I do have any doubt(s) at all, I ever think of one other besides Srila Prabhupada. Gaura Kishore and compare his example, his life, his actions, his supreme love and devotion which I cannot even begin to realize.
And I cry.
Thanks for listening,
Homer
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